{"id":592,"date":"2011-11-01T01:28:01","date_gmt":"2011-11-01T07:28:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/WordPress\/?p=592"},"modified":"2011-11-01T09:38:53","modified_gmt":"2011-11-01T15:38:53","slug":"not-now-i-have-a-headache","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/?p=592","title":{"rendered":"Not now, I have a headache …"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Throughout my life I have\u00a0the term “not now, I have a headache” and it would get them out of doing whatever it was they didn’t want to do.\u00a0 Jokingly I had friends tell me they would tell their boyfriends or husbands this, in order to get out of having sex with their loved one.\u00a0 My response to them was “you are CRAZY … it is the best medicine for a headache”.\u00a0 Now I am starting to wonder if that is what I am lacking in my life??\u00a0 lol<\/p>\n

After all, I have tried everything else.<\/p>\n

This past Saturday I had to go to an Independent Medical Exam set up by Sedgewick (the insurance company who handles disability payments for my employer).\u00a0 It was one of the more challenging doctors appointments for me, because the first hour was spent listening to the doctor mumble into a tape recorder as he read from\u00a0documentation he had been provided from Sedgewick\u00a0regarding my medical history since May.\u00a0 There were many times I had to correct him because he simply could not read one note or another and just “assumed” what he was saying was accurate.\u00a0 Don’t people listen to their parents?\u00a0 “Never Assume anything .. it makes an ass out of you and me”.<\/p>\n

Weighing in the balance of what this one doctor ‘thinks’ or determines is whether or not I will be approved for long term disability … and then I will probably have to begin a treatment plan that Sedgewick will most likely set up for me to follow.\u00a0 The maze of doctors I have gone to since 10May when all of this began is something like a blind man probably feels in a crowded room … overwhelmed, anxious, and incredibly exhausted at the end of the day.<\/p>\n

Honestly, I have been on my knees crying to God to “please show me what it is that you want me to learn right now”.\u00a0 He knows I feel completely broken as a human being at the present moment.\u00a0 The Spirit that lives inside of me is stronger than ever, but I have been stripped of all things that bring a human being comfort.\u00a0 When I did not get my disability check in September and Amy & I were moving”me” across country, I was forced to ask people for help.\u00a0 Knowing I could never pay them back, I simply had to ask people to donate money towards my medical & moving expenses.\u00a0 That made me uncomfortable and angry with myself.<\/p>\n

You see, I am nearly 50 years old (I know, that is a complete shocker to me, too!!! hehehe) and I should not “have to” ask anyone to help take care of me.\u00a0 If you know anything about me, you know I am a giver.\u00a0 It is a rare day when I will ask for help, but if I do, that means I really, really, really need it.\u00a0 Usually when I have asked for help in the past, it was not for my benefit.\u00a0 It as always for a cause (like supporting the troops or the orphans I support in South Africa, or some humanitarian effort I am aiding in assisting) and I didn’t feel bad about educating people or asking for their help.<\/p>\n

But God wanted to teach me the valuable gift of allowing other people to be blessed.\u00a0 You see, when we don’t open our hearts to allowing other people to “do” for us, we are shutting off their ability to feel that beautiful and amazing feeling inside of being able to make a difference.\u00a0 A very dear friend of mine calls that “going MAD”.\u00a0 Since I have always believed we each can make a difference, one person, one life, and one smile at a time … God also found a way for me to do that on a much bigger playing field than what I could ever imagine.<\/p>\n

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A year or two ago I met someone who changed my life.\u00a0 His name is Gilbert Martin, and he lives in South Africa.\u00a0 He has a heart of gold, has a vision to shift this world into being a better place, by uniting us all by our giving.\u00a0 Time, money, and energy …. in every aspect of humanity.\u00a0 Gilbert started a foundation called “Raise Your Hand and Open Your Heart”.\u00a0 He asked me to be a trustee on the board, and I was deeply honored.\u00a0 The foundation provides the umbrella for charities to sign up to obtain donations, get volunteers, and will provide aid on every continent in the world.\u00a0 It didn’t take long for me to start calling Gilbert “my kindred spirit”.\u00a0 He truly is a man after my own heart … only thing is he is gay and he has not got a single brother .\u00a0 lol<\/p>\n

During the past five and a half months suffering from the most tremendous pressure on my head that I have a tough time believing anyone else can imagine, I have spent alot of sleepless nights wondering how my voice can be heard through the vibrations of my own heartbeat.\u00a0 The symptoms I contend with on a minute by minute basis are a high pitched ringing in my ears, the weight of an elephant on the top of my head and the base of my skull, my head feeling like it is in a vice and my eyes are going to pop out of theie sockets, tremendous nausea that makes me throw up … (the list goes on and on sometimes) keep me from living life as I would like.<\/p>\n

However, my constant companion has been the internet where I could check my email, connect with family and friends on Facebook & Skype, \u00a0and talk with the troops I support on instant messenger … and where I recently spent some time working on a project for Raise Your Hand and Open Your Heart.\u00a0 It gave me something to focus on, other than my own pain.\u00a0 It reminded me of my purpose here on earth … to make a difference.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Some people have asked me where I have found strength in\u00a0being shuffled from doctor to doctor, getting as many different diagnosis as humanly possible, or how I cope with the plethora of medications prescribed.\u00a0 One thing is for certain, the Wounded Warriors & every single service member in the world inspire me.\u00a0 It is them that I think of every time I have blood drawn or an IV put in my arm.\u00a0 You will see photos from time to time, where I am holding Tigger.\u00a0\u00a0He has become my mascot … as my way of showing support to our valiant heroes.\u00a0 I think of the orphans and people who live in third world countries who do not even know where there next meal is coming from.\u00a0 They don’t have anything to live by other than the hope of a better tomorrow.\u00a0 How dare I complain that I am suffering financially from not being able to work, when there are people who do not even have a roof over their heads?\u00a0 You could say I give myself a “reality check” every single day.<\/p>\n

It is in the little things I do every day, that I find strength.\u00a0 What keeps me going is my faith.\u00a0 I believe I am exactly where God wants me to be, doing exactly what He wants me to be doing.\u00a0 He is in control, and when I am meant to be healed …\u00a0 He will make it so.\u00a0 If I didn’t believe that, I think I would go insane right now.\u00a0 He knows my heart, my desires, and my vision to save His creations … and that is why He needed me to STOP, move out of the way, so He could continue to make me into the person He wants me to be for His glory.<\/p>\n

When the day comes that I finally meet my knight in shining armor (not some prick in tin foil, as Gilbert says … hahaha), I pretty much can guarantee I will never use the words “not now honey, I have a headache” … because once this elephant is gone off my head, I will be ready to take on the world at large.<\/p>\n

Thank you so much to every single person who shows your love, support, and encouragement by being a part of my life.\u00a0 This year has been a challenge of mammoth (pardon the pun!) proportions … but one thing is for sure … I am becoming more and more that person God intended me to be.\u00a0 Do you think you could say a prayer that will be a person OUT OF PAIN sooner rather than later, please?<\/p>\n

PS.\u00a0 For more information about Raise Your Hand and Open Your Heart, please go to:\u00a0 http:\/\/www.raiseyourhand.org.za\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Thanks!<\/p>\n

Always,<\/p>\n

Robin<\/p>\n

“The Sky Angel”<\/p>\n

PO Box 449<\/p>\n

Mercer Island, WA 98040<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Throughout my life I have\u00a0the term “not now, I have a headache” and it would get them out of doing whatever it was they didn’t want to do.\u00a0 Jokingly I had friends tell me they would tell their boyfriends or husbands this, in order to get out of having sex with their loved one.\u00a0 My […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[7,14,18,13,40,19,17,6],"class_list":["post-592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-humanitarian","tag-mpumelelo","tag-robin-schmidt","tag-sinethemba","tag-supporting-our-heroes","tag-the-sky-angel","tag-troops","tag-volunteering"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=592"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":600,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592\/revisions\/600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}