{"id":626,"date":"2012-01-23T22:08:31","date_gmt":"2012-01-24T04:08:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/WordPress\/?p=626"},"modified":"2012-02-01T02:55:09","modified_gmt":"2012-02-01T08:55:09","slug":"how-do-you-scare-an-elephant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/?p=626","title":{"rendered":"How do you scare an ELEPHANT?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Taken on my humanitarian mission in South Africa, 2008<\/p><\/div>\n

… With a mouse, of course.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Or in my case, it will be with what I have commonly referred to as “Rat Poisoning” in the past.\u00a0\u00a0 Until recently.\u00a0 You see, I woke up on 10 May 2011, with what I thought was a Migraine Headache.\u00a0 To date, that same intense pain has prevaded every aspect of my life.\u00a0 It has been a LONG 254 days of praying, begging for relief, tears, frustration, joy in the simple things, arguments with doctors and insurance (over what treatment to try next), and FAITH.<\/p>\n

Yesterday I told someone extremely close to me that I felt I have been in a spiritual warfare.\u00a0 Satan has been attacking me on\u00a0EVERY front.\u00a0\u00a0Regardless of whether you believe in God or not, or whether you care to identify with your Creator or not, I ABSOLUTELY MUST.\u00a0 You see, without my FAITH, I would not have gotten through the past 8 1\/2 months of debilitating pain.\u00a0 It is because I have believed that God has a plan, that I have been able to endure the pain.\u00a0 Every single day that I have had to go to the hospital for treatments, or a new doctors office and fill out what seems hours of paperwork; I have thought about the Wounded Warriors that I have visited at Bethesda, Walter Reed, Brooke Army Medical Center, or those wonderful heroes I met at Knott’s Berry Farm in November of 2010.<\/p>\n

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Knott's Berry Farm with Wounded Warriors, November 2009<\/p><\/div>\n

By reflecting on the memories of experiences others have had, and their sheer tenacity to endure … has gotten me through.\u00a0 It would be a lie if I told you I have been strong through this entire process.\u00a0 Lord only knows I have sobbed with pain and frustration.\u00a0 Yes, I have said the words “why me”.\u00a0 I stopped saying that in November when a dear friend of mine landed in the hospital … not to come out alive. (I sure do miss you, Ed Bahmer!)\u00a0 You see, things can always be worse.\u00a0 It freaks people out when I say “I look forward to dying”.\u00a0 It is not that I want to die, please don’t get me wrong …. I just look forward to being reunited with my loved ones who were taken from this earth way too soon.\u00a0 A place where there is no pain.<\/p>\n

After my third trip to the emergency room last spring and summer, I stopped counting how many doctors, hospitals, and treatments I had endured.\u00a0 There is a notebook that is at the foot of my bed right now, that chronicles every appointment and medication I have been put on.\u00a0 At one point, I remember being on 13 medications at one time. In\u00a05 months time, I had been on 35 different medications.\u00a0 Every prescription putting me more and more in the hole financially.\u00a0 There came a time when I had to regroup and remind myself of the very wise words of my primary care physician in Atlanta “You are your own best health advocate … no one knows your body better than YOU”.\u00a0 When I chose to move back to Seattle in September (after months of not living at my place in Kentucky), I sought medical professionals who would not simply prescribe drugs to treat the symptoms.<\/p>\n

In doing so, I also lost alot of faith in modern (western) medicine.\u00a0 It became increasingly obvious to me that many doctors seem to get kick backs from the amount of prescriptions they write.\u00a0 Please don’t get me wrong here … I did not lose faith in ALL physicians … just the ones who chose not to listen to me when I shared prior experiences and treatments.\u00a0 What did and did not work.\u00a0 And at the end of the day, I found that I had to babysit people to ensure they would do their jobs.\u00a0 Dealing with insurance companies is a full time job … and when you have a migraine headache EVERY SINGLE DAY, that battle is not an easy one.<\/p>\n

Have you ever heard the saying “mind over matter”?\u00a0 Or “no pain, no gain”?\u00a0 These are things I say to myself constantly.\u00a0 It helps me to realize things HAVE TO GET BETTER.\u00a0 A very long time ago, I discerned that I was not “normal” by human standards.\u00a0 Honestly, I believe I was put on this earth to be different.\u00a0 The Love I have in my heart for others\u00a0is bigger than my emotions can control.\u00a0 My blood seems to be infused with humanitarian desires.\u00a0 Nothing brings me more joy than making a positive difference to someone else.\u00a0 The words LOYAL and HONEST define me.\u00a0 Often this leaves me feeling separate from other humans, because we truly live in a world where people are selfish.\u00a0 And people can be outright mean and hateful.<\/p>\n

But you know what has kept me sane through being forced to give up my own place,\u00a0stay away from a career I felt was divinely chosen for me, going on food stamps, and learning to make ends meet when the disability check is not enough to cover regular expenses of life and additional prescription and medical challenges?\u00a0 THE KINDNESS OF OTHERS.\u00a0 It has been a time of me learning to RECEIVE rather than always being the one to give.\u00a0 God is using this time to make me a better person (I thought I was pretty cool already.\u00a0 haha) … and I will be honest, it hurts like hell.\u00a0 It is by the grace of my amazing friends and family that I am able to endure.\u00a0 (Thank you for accepting me exactly as I am … no matter where that may be, or how I may feel!)\u00a0 I thank God for them daily, as do I do the valiant heroes who fight for my rights to think, feel, and be ME.<\/p>\n

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Swedish Hospital Pain & Headache Clinic, January 2012<\/p><\/div>\n

Earlier today someone asked me “what do you do from day to day”?\u00a0 Meaning “how do you spend your time”?\u00a0 I responded “well, every day seems to revolve around whether I have a doctors appointment or not.”\u00a0 Far cry from jet setting all over the globe and volunteering my time.\u00a0 It is frustrating to me, because I feel like I should be doing something “more”.\u00a0 In my mind, I should be making more money, sending more care packages to our troops, doing more for humanity.\u00a0 Making a Difference (also known as going MAD) hehe.<\/p>\n

And last weekend, when I celebrated my 50th birthday (really, I do feel MUCH younger!) \u00a0with dear family and friends in Southern California … an absolute transformation occurred in my mind.\u00a0 Through the love in that house, I learned that no matter where I am, and no matter what I am doing, I am making a difference.\u00a0 It’s just harder for me to do when I feel like I have no money and I am in constant pain.\u00a0 Let’s say I have to work at it, when in the past, it has come naturally.\u00a0 My heart just aches because others see pain in my eyes, and that hurts me.\u00a0 But today I had this sense that I needed to sit down and write (sorry it has been so long since my last blog, by the way).\u00a0 It is cathartic to me.\u00a0 Maybe my words will help just one person to realize that they are not alone in their pain.<\/p>\n

There are many, many times I have felt that way.\u00a0 Like NO ONE understands.\u00a0 No one else has had my life experiences, or overcome what I have, in order to get to where I am.\u00a0 But they don’t have to … they just need to have compassion.\u00a0 People need to have an ounce more understanding.\u00a0 When someone is talking to you, PLEASE LISTEN to their words.\u00a0 Do not be confused by someones inability to articulate how they feel.\u00a0 Just having a friend reach out a hand and say “I’m here”, could make all the difference in the world.\u00a0 (Thank you so very much to my friends, who always know how to make me smile … and just happen to be there, right when I need you the most!!!)<\/p>\n

Just now I received a text message from a friend who asked me about the “elephant” (also known as THROB).\u00a0 And for the first time in months, I can say that I actually have hope again for a treatment.\u00a0 It may not help immediately (it could take months), but I was approved by insurance to receive Botox injections for the pain tomorrow morning.\u00a0 31 injections sights in my head, neck, and shoulders.\u00a0 Most people scare an elephant with a mouse.\u00a0 Mine is so big … I have agreed to rat poisoning to get rid of mine.\u00a0\u00a0 lol<\/p>\n

Here is the link http:\/\/www.foxnews.com\/health\/2011\/01\/05\/studies-botox-reduce-migraine-headaches\/<\/a>\u00a0for the treatment.\u00a0 There are no guarantees … but the good news is, I have Tigger to keep me company (he had a blast with the IV today!), and the faith of a mustard seed that there are brighter days ahead.<\/p>\n

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Tigger and I were thinking of our troops today at the hospital ...<\/p><\/div>\n

Do me a favor?\u00a0 Appreciate the life you have …. because each day is a gift and we are blessed to be called to LIVE IT.<\/p>\n

Always,<\/p>\n

Robin<\/p>\n

AKA “The Sky Angel”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

… With a mouse, of course.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42 Or in my case, it will be with what I have commonly referred to as “Rat Poisoning” in the past.\u00a0\u00a0 Until recently.\u00a0 You see, I woke up on 10 May 2011, with what I thought was a Migraine Headache.\u00a0 To date, that same intense pain has prevaded every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[21,20,7,18,40,19,22,17,6,5],"class_list":["post-626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-hero","tag-heroes","tag-humanitarian","tag-robin-schmidt","tag-supporting-our-heroes","tag-the-sky-angel","tag-travel","tag-troops","tag-volunteering","tag-wounded-warrior"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=626"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":636,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626\/revisions\/636"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alwayssupportourheroes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}